kara. 22. nursing major by day. boring internet junkie by night.

 

noturbabygurl:

susmanatee:

bitter-feminist:

remyetienelebeau:

Bob’s Burgers Live Script Read at the Irenic

i already thought bob’s burgers was the best animation i have ever seen, but man, the cast reading the script live makes it a thousand times funnier

This is the best thing i’ve ever seen

LINDA OMG

FUCKING FAVE!!

shaunofthebread:

zaynmaliki:

I’m at Disneyworld and tonight in honor of robin,the magic kingdom’s firework show was named genie’s wishes,and in the end they said “genie,you’re free”

image

"What’s wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can’t we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor.
Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.”
                                          
Patch Adams (1998)

(Source: zangela)

blazeblastomega:

allteensrelate:

R.I.P. Robin Williams, thank you for making us laugh throughout the years.

the only way some of us can feel laughter is when we hear someone else’s

zackisontumblr:

If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”

thundercrumbs:

obesealpaca:

do you think he knows

DOCTOR FISHER GET OFF THAT MANS FACE YOU’RE A SCIENTIST NOW ACT LIKE ONE

thundercrumbs:

obesealpaca:

do you think he knows

DOCTOR FISHER GET OFF THAT MANS FACE YOU’RE A SCIENTIST NOW ACT LIKE ONE

(Source: 4est)

eziocauthon89:

"Well, I’m bored now, just sitting here, oh what’s going on inside, eh nothing, what’s my buddy up to no—-HOLY SHIT, THAT’S THE BIGGEST CAT I’VE EVER SEEN, FRANK, GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!"

eziocauthon89:

"Well, I’m bored now, just sitting here, oh what’s going on inside, eh nothing, what’s my buddy up to no—-HOLY SHIT, THAT’S THE BIGGEST CAT I’VE EVER SEEN, FRANK, GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!"

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 

(Source: moshita)

defilerwyrm:

deerypoof:

Of all a deer’s senses, their eyesight is the worst. 

To be fair, if a possum grabbed your face in pitch darkness, you’d probably jump like you were spring-loaded too.

defilerwyrm:

deerypoof:

Of all a deer’s senses, their eyesight is the worst. 

To be fair, if a possum grabbed your face in pitch darkness, you’d probably jump like you were spring-loaded too.

nsumida:

Finished drawing my tiny book.  Expect come Snackies updates soon.

nsumida:

Finished drawing my tiny book.  Expect come Snackies updates soon.